Lori Zaslow is the matchmaker star of the Bravo TV show Love Broker. She’s spunky, energetic (think energizer bunny), and loves helping singles find love, or at least a decent first date. I can’t say I agree with all of her dating and relationship advice or MO, but there’s one thing she does that I think is spot on, even brilliant. When Lori sets up a client she schedules and plans the first date herself. She picks the venue and tells both parties to be there at the appointed time.
Why doesn’t Lori just give the man the woman’s contact info and tell him to take it from there? Because Lori is no fool. She knows that most first dates never end up happening, for several possible reasons:
1. The Guy Never Calls
But he said he was interested in going out? So why didn’t he call? That’s the question that’s been boggling the minds of women since the invention of mail. It’s simple. He either wasn’t really interested, or lost interest, or met someone else, or got distracted playing XBox, or got swamped at work, or just plain decided to blow it off for no good reason. Who the hell really knows? The point is that trusting a man to make that first call and set up that first date is a gamble that Lori is not willing to take. I’d say the odds are around 50/50. Decent for black jack, but not for dating.
2. The Guy Calls But Doesn’t Set the Date
Just because the guy has enough integrity to make the call doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to actually pop the question and make the date. Why would he do that? Because he’s got problems committing. Yes, even to a cup of coffee. Will he be passing up meeting a super model if he spends a couple of hours with this woman? Is she really good enough for him? These are questions that he needs time to analyze and fantasize about. So he’ll call and say he would love to meet up and hang out sometime soon, but he won’t actually say when or where. Now what?
3. The Guy Screws Up the Initial Phone Call
Let’s say he calls to set a date. Great! Well, if that’s all he does, then yes, great. But some guys can’t just make the date and say goodnight. They have to talk. There’s nothing wrong with talking, as long as you don’t come off as a jerk when you do it. Some guys say things that are so weird, freaky, insulting, or just plain stupid that the woman on the other end can’t help but hang up, shower, and change her number.
4. The Guy Can’t Pick A Venue
The right venue can make or break a first date. You need the right atmosphere, ambiance, and noise level. Some guys are too clueless to figure it out on their own. They get really confused. Dinner or drinks or both or neither or coffee or sports or…this is too difficult! If only somebody would do this for me!
By setting up and planning the first date herself, Lori assures that her potential lovebirds will at least have the chance to sit together in a cool place for an hour or two. What they do after that…well, I guess you need to tune into the show to find out.
What if you don’t have a love broker of your own to make first date arrangements? If you’re aware of the four stumbling blocks I listed, you can cut the guy some slack and try to help him when you can. At least you’ll understand why the first date you were looking forward to never actually happened. It’s not you, it’s him.
Were you ever supposed to go out on a first date that never actually happened? Please share you experiences in the comments section below.