I’m not really a gambling man, besides the occasional lottery ticket and once in 5 yr. casino visit. When I think about it though, I realize that I’m much more of a gambler than I thought. We’re all gamblers. Every time we walk out the door we leave ourselves open to potential mishap or harm. We gamble with our very lives. Of course, we do our best to mitigate the potential risks facing us. We put on warm clothing to protect ourselves from the cold. We look both ways before crossing the street. We stay in safe neighborhoods to avoid crime. By simply being careful, we shift the odds of something bad happening to us greatly in our favor. There’s always that risk of a freak accident, but if we always look both ways before crossing the street, we reduce that risk to practically zero.
Beyond personal safety, we know that by following certain procedures we greatly can increase our odds of success. For example, your odds of finding a good paying job are much greater if you have a college degree than if you don’t. By getting that degree you make a conscious decision to increase your odds for success.
The world of dating is no different. There are things you can do to increase your odds for success. I’m not saying that you must do these things. If you don’t change a thing about yourself, you still might meet the man or woman of your dreams. As my wife likes to remind me, there’s a cover for every pot. Hopefully you’ll find yours without having to expend any effort at all. But if you want to increase your odds of getting more dates and attracting more potential partners, which will hopefully lead to greater odds of finding your soulmate, then you should take to heart the following points. Some of them only apply to either men or women, and they are in no particular order.
Looks are important, for both men and women. While it’s true that for many woman appearance is not their number one criteria for choosing a man, it is still up there on the list. For men, appearance is clearly number one. Accepting that you can’t change the basics that God blessed you with, you can certainly do the best with what you’ve got. That means dressing in style, clean, neat, and put together. Getting help from a stylish friend or image consultant is a great idea. You MUST look your best. That includes hair, makeup, glasses (or contacts), personal grooming, and clothing. You have total control over what you wear and how you wear it, so make sure you get it right.
2. Stable Job (I don’t mean horses)
This one is for the guys. Women want to marry a man who is stable financially. The specific requirements for “how stable” differ for every woman, but the common denominator is stable. If you’re in your early twenties and trying different business ideas or job types, that’s ok. If you’re in your 30’s and up, you need to get into a normal, regular type of job situation — yes, even if it’s not your ideal job. You can always switch later if you really are miserable. While you’re trying to attract Mrs. Right, you need to be employed in a stable job (or as stable as possible in this economy). You also need to project a positive attitude about your chosen career path. If you hate what you do and are miserable about it, then make some changes in your life or in your attitude. Most women I interview want a man who is passionate about what they do, whatever that might be.
The strong silent type might work for a date or two, but after that, you’re partner is going to expect you to start opening up and expressing your thoughts and feelings in an intelligent manner. This isn’t easy for many people, primarily men, but more than a few women too. It isn’t easy to reveal personal stuff to someone you just recently met, but if you want to develop a relationship you have to put yourself out there and c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e. There’s nothing more frustrating than being with someone who won’t open up and share. I’m not saying you have to tell all immediately. You can go slow. A little each time. It’s all good, as long as you constantly continue to communicate with your partner. If you know you are challenged in the communication department, get help. You will be surprised in the improvement you’ll see in your dating and relationships.
4. Be Happy
Most people want to be with and around happy people. Everyone’s got their own stuff to bring them down. They don’t need any help from you. You don’t have to be a Jerry Seinfeld or Sarah Silverman. A sense of humor can certainly help, but more importantly is an upbeat and positive attitude and manner. Here’s an interesting article I came across that gets into detail regarding the benefits of positive thinking and laughter. A good first step is to smile…a lot. No, not in a fake or stupid way. Just be real and try to bring out all that positive energy I know you have brewing inside of you. A nice smile is incredibly attractive.
5. Create a Spark
Everyone is looking for that “spark” in a potential date/mate. I once asked a young woman I was trying to set up why she wasn’t interested in a certain guy and her response was that he didn’t have that “zing” or, as I prefer to call it, that spark. So what gave that guy the spark where the other one was sparkless? I think it comes down to a combination of being both put together and interesting or engaging, in a masculine way.
A man needs to have interesting thing to speak about and interesting experiences to share, and do so in a way that accentuates his masculinity. A man gushing over the latest issue of Martha Stuart’s magazine just doesn’t do it for most women. Same goes for the ladies. Women have to be interesting and engaging in a way that accentuates their femininity. That doesn’t mean they have to be ditsy barbie dolls, but they might want to be a bit flirtatious or playful. Just go to the movies and see how the (smart and intelligent) heartthrobs, male and female, do it.
What are some other things you think you can do to increase your odds at dating success?