I recently got the chance to chat with Jonathan Bird, the founder and CEO of Singles Warehouse, one of the largest dating sites in UK with over 2 million members. I asked Jonathan if he could list a few things for singles to keep in mind when dating.
Here’s what he said:
1. Confidence is key
There’s nothing sexier than a person who looks comfortable with themselves and knows how to work it. If you’re looking shy and scared in a corner, you will never attract your perfect partner! The way you conduct yourself is a big part in dating, whether that be body language, what you wear or just a smile. By looking smiley, with good posture and like you know how to look after yourself will make you look more appealing. No one wants a partner who they will have to look after so show your strong and confident side. It’s been proven that confidence is a sexy trait to have. It’s easier to be more confident on singles online dating sites as sometimes it’s best to meet people online so you can be yourself before the awkwardness of a date.
2. Be Open
If you like the person you’re out with, let them! You’ll never know how they feel unless you say how you do. If you have some hard experiences, share them. The best way to get close to the person you’re dating is to open up about things you wouldn’t usually say. It will show you are comfortable with them and actually want to be with them. People can usually tell if you are trying to keep things backs so being truthful will bring you closer to your date.
If you don’t see you and your date going anything further, be truthful too. Don’t lead someone on or waste your time chasing after the wrong person. Even if you have a strong physical attraction to someone, it has to feel right mentally or emotionally there’s no point wasting your time trying to make something work that never will. Honesty leads to love!
3. Stay Sober
No matter how nervous you are to go on a date, don’t drink too much! There’s nothing worse than getting drunk before the date even begins and looking like an alcoholic. This will just scare the boy/girl and jeopardize your chance of seeing them again. You need to be able to hold a conversation as well as yourself! No one wants to be carrying their date home. There will be plenty of those times to be had once you get into a relationship.
4. Social media
The world doesn’t need to know you’re on a date! Let your social media accounts have a break when out on a date. Respect that your date might not appreciate your phone and social medias being on the date with you. It’s off putting when your date whips out their phone to take a photo of their meal, tweet about the night or post about where you’ve taken them. Dates should be private, especially when you’re getting to know someone. Some people don’t use social media and won’t want their life posted on it so show you can spend a night without your phone to just connect with your date.
Also, don’t try to get your date to add all your social medias straight away. You could have personal information on them which your date probably won’t want to know early on. Keep some mystery to your life. At this point, your date probably doesn’t want to know what you had for breakfast last week or why ‘Becca’ is annoyed with ‘Amy’.
5. Don’t be clingy
If your first few dates went well, amazing! But don’t start calling them every day or texting whenever you get a free moment. This will make you seem needy, clingy and desperate. If you text him/her first yesterday, wait for them to text you today, you won’t seem not interested but like your life doesn’t revolve around them. Make sure you still do your own thing too. If your friends invite you out, don’t wait around for your date to ask you out, go have fun with your friends and make them wait for you! Show you’re independent and can be comfortable dating someone without seeing them or talking to them every day. Space is appreciated in dating as you’re both deciding where you want the relationship to go, so don’t give them any reason to cut it off.
6. Don’t Rush
Don’t rush into asking for a commitment – this could scare your date away. Although you might be ready to settle down, your date might need a little more time to feel comfortable with the idea. You will most likely be able to tell when your date is serious about you so don’t rush into asking for a label to be put on you both. Most people will stay faithful to their partner without being in a ‘relationship’. Be patient with your date so just enjoy the moments you spend together without making anything too serious. They will appreciate you not rushing them which could lead a more stable relationship with better understandings.
Everyone is different so although you can follow as many tips as you like, you need to adapt your style of each person you date. You can change the way you behave but you still need to read their body language and actions to be able to connect fully with them. You may meet a person who is confident, loves to drink and call your three times a day or a shy, non-drinker who will never call so follow the basic message of these points, but mix it up according to your date.
Thanks Jonathan for this British words of wisdom. Share his tips with your friends and check out his site!