read with interest your Jewish Press article ‘What Happened to Faith’? My wife and I were older singles before we married and older newlyweds afterward. We live in the Lawrence, NY, and we both agree with everything you’ve articulated in your article. As you say in your article, we simply don’t know what Hashem’s plan is for any of us or for mankind in general. Perhaps, Hashem has ordained that singles today get married later those of past generations–for reasons that are beyond our comprehension.
PS: I’m a Certified Public Accountant, and from my limited experience in the Five Towns, I really don’t think that one could raise a family with three children here in the Five Towns on an annual income of only $200,000 based on the criteria that you enumerated. I think the number would have to be closer to $230,000/$250,000; the additional $30,000/$50,000 could probably be provided by both sets of in-laws.
Dear Rabbi Singer —
My wife and I read with great interest your article in this week’s Jewish Press. She and I are also matchmakers on Saw You at Sinai and are all too familiar with the phenomenon you describe, particularly with respect to men who want to meet women significantly younger than they are. We also live on the Upper West Side and have friends and acquaintances whose stories could very well have been included in your article.
Thank you for bringing this issue to people’s attention. We have struggled with it as well, and wonder whether there is anything practical that can be done to move towards resolving it. Is there anything we can suggest to Saw You at Sinai in an attempt to ameliorate this problem? Maybe an age limit or an email suggestion to members to keep their expectations realistic? Right now, we view Saw You at Sinai and its competitors as making it both easier and harder to find a bashert — easier because one can find his or her match at the click of a button, but harder to find a match because it is so much easier to reject more people, faster. Are these dating websites contributing to the problem by making it easier to reject potential matches for the superficial reasons you describe?
We would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.
Rabbi Singer, I enjoyed your article on jewish older singles. My wife and I who live in baltimore have set up many singles before( had a few hits actually) and agree with you !00%. My father in law says its too easy today to stay single cause you have all your errands done by the cleaners,fast food stores ect. They don’t feel a push to get married. We can go on forever. One question I always leave them with is “on a scale of 1-10 how much do you want to be married”. When they say 10 we can talk”. Have a good shabbos.
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