Ladies: If You Can’t Beat the Competition, Avoid It

competition in datingThe competition in dating is fierce. That’s a fact. There are women out there competing for the same men as you are, who are more beautiful than you. In some places, like NYC and LA, there are loads of them.

If you’re one of those beauties, you can probably stop reading this and continue doing whatever’s been working for you. For the rest of you, I’d like to divest you of this problem once and for all. The way to handle competition in dating from ladies you don’t think you can compete against is simple: don’t compete.

Here are 3 tips for getting your man without competing against the unbeatable ones.

1. Don’t Chase Model Chasers
You know the type and you know what they’re after, yet you still try to grab their affection. What a waste of your time. So what if they’re good looking, successful, and just plain smooth operators? When given the choice between you or that tall blonde creature with the huge eyes (and breasts), they will never choose you. Once you accept that, you’ll be able to focus your attention on the men who you can get. These are the men who might not wear the All Star jerseys but can still hit the ball and get on base. They’ll make you feel like a million bucks, if you give them the chance. Some of these guys might imagine themselves as model chasers, but the smart ones learn to accept their reality pretty quickly (after being blown off enough times) and focus on women who give them the time of day. That’s where you sail in, wind in your hair, and not a model in sight.

2. Location, Location, Location
Remember that famous lyric from the Crosby, Stills and Nash song, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with”. Well, when you’re in a place where there is no competition, you command lots of attention. Your job is to find those places and use them as your private hunting reserves. If all the beautiful people are heading to the Hamptoms, you stay in the city and feast on the left overs. Don’t get grossed out. There are plenty of high quality men that don’t weekend in the hot spots and prefer to just hang close to home. This is your chance to pounce. Avoid the places where you know the competition is fierce. Pick your spots carefully and then dominate them. As a wise rabbi once said, “better to be the head of a fox than the tail of a lion.”

3. Dominate Your Niche
If you were thinking of starting another online dating site, I’d tell you to forget it. You’ve got no chance against the big players like match.com and eharmony.com, who dominate the field. But if your plan is to start a dating site for underachieving lesbian athletes from Wisconsin with blue eyes and black hair, I’d say you’ve got a fighting chance of becoming the dominant player in the field. Find your niche, the thing that differentiates you from the crowd, and be the best at that particular voodoo you do so well. You won’t be able to compete against the all stars, but you will be able to attract those men who are into your particular shtick. For example, a man who’s really into musicians might choose musical talent over model mania. A great sense of humor might trump a great set of breasts. Dominate your niche.

Going head to head against the runway superstars is social suicide. But what about the competition you can go up against, like all those women who aren’t prettier, younger, or smarter than you? There are just so many of them everywhere, interfering with your chance to meet Mr. Right. The same rules that I mentioned above apply. You can compete in the dating game by not competing. Pick your location, choose your target, and give it your best shot.

Don’t forget to download your FREE E-Book – The Jcoach Guide to a Winning Online Dating Profile – by subscribing to Jcoach. You can also to follow us on Facebook and Twitter for more dating and relationship tips and advice.

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