Dating during the coronavirus pandemic has been turned upside down, just like the rest of our lives. Most of us are stuck in our homes, trying to avoid catching it or passing it along to others.
Many of us aren’t really in the dating mood anyway. Seriously, who can think of dating when the world seems to be falling apart?
Well, not so fast.
Judging from the events in China, which already went through what the rest of the world is now going through, it’s safe to say that life will get back to relative normality in a few months. This is in no way meant to make light of the fact that tens of thousands of people throughout the world will die as a result of the virus, and hundreds of thousands may suffer from the symptoms of the virus.
This is clearly a tragic event we’re facing. But we know that it will end and that the overwhelming majority of humanity will survive.
Just knowing that fact should make you feel more positive and hopeful for the great things that await you in the near future.
While we’re in this crazy situation, here are 6 tips for improving your current and future dating life.
1. Adversity can bring people together romantically.
Ever hear of wartime romance? There’s something about being in a dangerous situation that can ignite chemistry between two people in a way that would never happen under normal circumstances. This is especially true for those who exhibit maturity and levelheadedness in a crisis situation.
For example, if someone is freaking out about the situation and simply can’t handle it and you come along and put their mind at ease and show them that everything will be ok — you are their hero. And do you think people fall for heroes? You bet!
BTW, there was a flood of engagement right after the 9/11 tragedy. Another wave might very well be coming at the end of this coronavirus disaster.
Don’t worry, you can be a hero on the phone or via Zoom — it doesn’t have to be in person.
Which brings me to my next tip…
2. Put the physical aspects of dating on hold
Putting the physical aspects of dating on hold can give you the opportunity to really get to know someone.
If your dating objective is exclusively to have fun, then postponing the physical in a relationship makes absolutely no sense — so just skip this.
But if the reason you are dating is to find someone with whom you can have a lasting relationship with, then holding off on getting physical until you’ve gotten to know someone a bit better is exactly what you need to do.
Don’t get me wrong. Physical chemistry is a vital element in any serious, long term relationship. But there are other elements that are equally important including emotional chemistry, shared beliefs and life goals, and just being able to spend time with each other and talk to each other — in all kinds of different situations.
Just because you want to have sex with someone does not mean you have any of the other elements needed for a serious relationship. That’s why relationships end (some after only a couple of days) even though the sexual connection is great. You can’t build a lasting relationship on sex alone.
In fact, I’d venture to say that the overwhelming majority of failed relationships would have never even gotten off the ground had the participants not has sex either right away, or much too soon.
Had they taken the opportunity to get to know each other before getting physically involved, one or both parties would have realized that the relationship was not right for them — instead of taking weeks or months to figure it out.
Remember, it’s much harder to leave a relationship that you know is not right for you if you are enjoying the physical benefits. Think about it.
So the evil coronavirus is forcing you to get to know people without any physical contact. Embrace this as an opportunity to do that. You’ll probably end up avoiding a bunch of time wasters and hopefully discover some opportunities you would have otherwise ignored.
3. Give love a chance.
Most of us decide whether we’re interested in someone or not in a matter of seconds. Our decisions are usually based on appearances (especially true for men).
Well, now’s your chance to go beyond initial appearances and spend some time getting to know someone in greater depth. You don’t have to decide in a few seconds whether there is something worth exploring.
You can take your time.
You’ve got at least a couple of months before you can physically meet the person, so give them a bit more of a chance before ruling them out. Talk to them. Then decide.
4. Get your profiles in order.
If you use a dating app or website (and who doesn’t these days?) then this is your opportunity to finally redo that ancient profile of yours and make it into something that will actually work in your benefit.
No lying allowed. Just a well thought out and written profile that reflects who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner. And of course, you might want to add some current photos — maybe even some fun ones :)
There are lots of resources out there to help you create an amazing (and effective) online dating profile. Find them and use them. You’ve got the time now.
5. Work on yourself.
Everyone has room for self improvement. That includes you.
Watch what you eat and try to do some daily exercise to stay fit. You will be leaving your apartment at some point in the (hopefully) near future.
Read some self help books related to any area you feel you could improve in. Become a better you.
A better YOU will attract a better HIM or HER.
6. Deep reflection.
One of the benefits of being stuck at home alone is that you have the opportunity to turn off your devices and do some seriously deep thinking and reflecting on your dating life.
1. What are your short and long term dating objectives?
2. What kind of partner are you looking for?
3. What kind of partner is RIGHT for you?
4. Are what you are looking for and what is right for you the same? They should be.
5. Is your “wish list” realistic?
6. Are you rejecting potential partners for silly or insignificant reasons?
7. Can you identify patterns in your dating history? Are you repeating the same mistakes?
8. What do you really want — marriage? Fun? Be honest with yourself.
Have you ever seen a fly try to fly through a have opened window and keep banging into the glass over and over again until it finally changes its path just a bit and gets out?
Now’s your chance to think about how to possibly make that slight modification to set yourself free.
May you all be blessed with health, success, and the ability to make the right choices and decisions to find true love.