When She’s Not Interested, Cut Your Losses
I have a confession to make. I watched the last ten minutes of “The Bachelorette” last night. It was my first time, and I won’t do it again. I tuned in just in time to see the bachelorette give out her final rose, sending home the unlucky fellow left flowerless (deflowered? no, wrong context). To make sure the guy was totally humiliated, the rules of the show require him and the bachelorette to spend a few moments in private to exchange some final parting words. Now, like I said, I haven’t been watching this program so I’m not familiar with all the characters or interactions, but I can confidently conclude a couple of obvious things.
The bachelorette is super attractive, with a lively, fun, and exciting personality who we can easily understand why any guy would be attracted to. The guy she dumped seems like a really nice, warm, sensitive guy, decent looking, but not on the same looks level as the guys with the roses. She walks him towards the door. He turns to her, takes her hands in his, looks deep into her eyes, and pours his heart out, how he cherished every moment they spent together and how deeply he feels for her. She appears a bit uncomfortable, looks at him briefly, and tells him that she just felt the romance was missing. They embrace; he, longingly and lovingly, she, politely with a tinge of pity. You’re a great guy, best of luck, and please hurry on out of here, I’ve got a few winners I need to get back to.
There is a lesson here. When a gal (and for that matter, a guy) decides she’s not feeling it, there ain’t nothing you can say or do to change that. It doesn’t matter how great your are, how much you love her and cherish her, or how sensitive or emotional you are. She’s made up her mind. She’s just not into you. All your words of praise, love, and devotion don’t change a thing. Now you have two choices. You can continue to hang around, pursue, convince, scheme, plot, fantasize, pray, and get your heart handed to you on a platter regularly. It might work, and you might also win the lottery. History, statistics, probability, and common sense all scream DANGER-BROKEN HEART ZONE. Unless you’re crazy or a masochist, I highly recommend a second option. Cut your losses. I know you’ve invested an incredible amount of time, money, energy, and emotion into this, and it seems like you’ve come so close…you can’t give up now, right? WRONG. Forget about all that you’ve invested and chalk it up to an expensive learning experience. Don’t invest more in a losing venture. As the wise man said, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Enough! Go on now go, walk out the door, don’t turn around now…and I promise you, you will not only survive, but you will find someone who will accept your love and reciprocate.
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