Traveler on dirt road

If There’s No One Here for You to Date, Why Are You Still Here?

How many times have you walked into a party or singles event, scanned the room and determined in less than a minute that there’s no one there for you? Do you find yourself attributing your single status to the fact that there just isn’t anyone for you date? Well, you’re not alone.

Most singles I speak to complain that there aren’t any good men or women to date. Remember, I’m speaking with singles who live in the NYC area, primarily on the Upper West Side, where there are thousands of single Jewish men and women. And yet, they can’t find one good one to date?

So you’ll tell me that even though there are thousands of singles, almost none of them are serious about relationships or marriage. They just want to keep on being single. Hmm. Maybe there’s some truth to that, but then again, there are plenty of couples in relationships, and getting engaged and married all the time. Granted they’re not the overwhelming majority, but they’re still a significant number. So why aren’t you in that number?

I’m not going to answer that question for you in this post, but you can read these to get some ideas:
The Magic Secret to Finding Your Perfect Partner
5 Ways to Boost Your Odds At Successful Dating
3 Things You Can Do to Be In a Relationship

For the purposes of this post I’ll assume that you have a great reason to explain why you can’t find a relationship partner. So here’s my question to you: why then are you still here?

If you seriously believe that there’s no one here for you to date, why do you continue to spin your wheels trying? Are you hoping for a miracle? Are you praying for that perfect, magical man or woman to suddenly appear in your life and fall madly in love with you? While I’m a firm believer in miracles, I’m also a firm believer in the Talmudic injunction, “Do not rely on miracles”.

If you’ve been in the same place for more than a year or two and aren’t having any dating success you need to change your situation. You’re either dating the wrong type of people or you’re simply “fishing in the wrong pond“.

Am I telling you to just drop everything and move? Of course not. You might not even have to move, just adjust your description of your perfect mate. But if you really do feel the need to move, do some thorough research first. Make sure that:

1. You know exactly what kind of person you’re looking for.
2. You’re sure that the type of person you’re looking for lives in the place you’re considering moving to.

The most important thing is to NOT just continue doing whatever you’ve been doing unsuccessfully for years. If you truly believe that there’s no one here for you to date, then move to a better place (literally or figuratively).

PS – Yeah, I know it’s not easy to make a big move, but sometimes you need to make big sacrifices for the important stuff.

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