Several readers have recently suggested that I run a Jcoach single’s event for my readers. Sounds like a great idea. So why haven’t I done it? I certainly have thought about it, but I always come to the same conclusion: do we really need another singles event?
Well, you might claim that the Jcoach event would be different, more serious, for people who really believe in the stuff I write about and the ideas I propagate. In theory that makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately in practice, it doesn’t look so promising for several reasons.
1. How would you screen to make sure that only “serious” folks attend? You couldn’t, which basically means that the same serial event stalkers that prowl the Jewish singles circuit would be at this event too. Now that wouldn’t solve anything, would it? True I’d be able to charge admission and possible make a tidy little sum, but my goal is not to take your money and make you suffer through another frustrating and depressing experience. There are plenty of other people who are happy to do that. No, I’m here to help you get your act together in a constructive way so that you can pull it together and create a long term healthy relationship with someone special.
2. The kind of event that would honestly represent the ideals and ideas that Jcoach espouses would require the singles attending to make themselves truly and totally emotionally open and available (and probably a bit vulnerable) and to demonstrate the wholehearted desire to commit to a relationship based on realistic expectations and attainable criteria. How many people are willing to do that at an event (or anywhere)? Regardless of what people say, the truth is that they’re not. In most cases, if they were, they would already be married.
3. The success of most singles events is judged based on how many new people are there to meet. Nobody wants to spend money to see faces that they’ve already scoped out and rejected before. Therefore, most single’s event goers leave feeling disappointed, frustrated, and cheated out of their admission fee.
I certainly can’t guarantee the “newness” of the crowd, and I don’t want to be the cause of your frustration and ill will. When you finally realize that you’re looking at things the wrong way and chasing after something that exists only somewhere over the rainbow at the end of that yellow brick road leading through the depths of your imagination, the next event you attend will probably be your last (in a good way). Then you won’t need a Jcoach event anymore, even back in Kansas.
So that’s why I haven’t organized or run a Joach singles event. Despite all of this, if there’s anyone out there who has a good event idea and is prepared to plan and organize it, I’d be happy to hear it out and possibly help promote and run it.
Let me know if you’ve got something.
Enjoy the holidays!