Fishing in the Right Pond to Find the Right One

A friend of mine is a very handsome, intelligent, fun, down to earth, and really nice guy, who teaches elementary school. He lived in Manhattan for most of his adult life, until he realized that he wasn’t meeting the right kind of woman. He didn’t have a problem attracting women. It’s just that those Manhattan cosmopolitans weren’t excited by his choice of profession. They enjoyed being with him and dating him for a while, but when it came down to “tachlis”, they inevitably chose to continue their quest for what they viewed as a more financially ambitious career man. He finally decided that it was time for a change, moved to a picturesque small town in Colorado where he could fulfill his love of the outdoors, and met someone soon after, with whom he has built a solid, long term relationship.

My friend had been “looking for love in all the wrong places.” When he finally began looking in the right place, he succeeded almost immediately. I’m sure there were, and are, gals in Manhattan that would be happy to marry a teacher, but they’re far from the majority and you have to know exactly where and how to find them. My friend evidently didn’t, so he went to where they were the overwhelming majority and shifted the odds in his favor.

If you’re in a profession that you find fulfilling but that doesn’t earn you the “big bucks”, be happy that you’ve achieved the personal fulfillment most people dream of, but don’t search for your soulmate at a singles event for Wall Street financiers. The women there will probably be looking for…you guessed it. Yes, there might be some women there who aren’t, but the odds will be heavily stacked against you, so why set yourself up for frustration and self doubt? You made the right decision to choose a career that you enjoy and find fulfilling. Now you need to focus on finding a gal who will appreciate you for that.

The challenges for gals are different, but the message is the same. If you frequent a venue known for attracting fashion models, unless you are one too, don’t be surprised if the guys there brush you aside in search of their long legged fantasy.

Finding your soulmate entails first determining where she is most likely to be found. Figure out exactly what you’re looking for (easier said than done, I know), then make a list of likely haunts, venues, and habitats where you know they frequent, and make it your business to be there with a smile, an open mind, and a real desire to meet your soulmate.

Next time we’ll try to figure out where your soulmate is hiding.

Keep reading jcoach.com for more dating advice and relationship advice, and please contact me if you’d like personal coaching or advice.