Based on the title, you’re probably expecting some major insights into the details of creating successful dating experiences. Well, you probably won’t be surprised.
Here are the 2 MOST important and most basic requirements of dating: contacting the person and making the date.
Yeah, that’s obvious, so why waste time discussing it? Well, it seems like it’s not that obvious to everyone. Some guys either can’t seem to find the time to contact the woman for at least a week or sometimes just don’t contact her at all. Crazy, right?
Now let’s make sure we’re on the same page here. Despite the hyper-modern egalitarian society we live, it’s still almost always (99% of the time) the man’s job to contact the woman to ask her for a date. He either gets her contact info directly from her or from the person trying to set him up on the date. In either case there is no reason for the man to fear rejection. The woman has already agreed to the date, one way or another. All he has to do is call her and set up a time and place to meet.
Simple. So why are so many guys not doing it?
There are several reasons why a guy won’t call. For now I want to focus on the most common excuse: too busy. Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant for now, and in any case, most woman choose to believe it (the alternatives are to painful).
So guys, let’s say you really are swamped at work. You’ve got trials to litigate, stocks to trade, deals to finance, and patients to see and…WAIT. How long does it take to make a phone call? Getting home too late; call during the day. You have a cell phone, at least one, and you’ve always got it strapped to your hip ready for action, so how hard is it to take a moment or two to call the woman you’ve already committed to contacting?
Maybe you feel uncomfortable making a call on the run or without enough time to give it your full attention? Here’s your solution. Just call her, let her know that you’re too swamped at work to chat (most women like hearing that a guy is working hard), but you’d like to make a date to meet her asap. No need to chat on the phone, you’ll have plenty of time when you see her.
But wait, you’re really too busy to meet her this week. That’s fine, just let her know that you really do want to see her but it’ll have to be next week. If you’re even too busy to do that, then maybe you should just tell her to forget about it because the truth is, if you were really interested you’d find some way to make it work (girls, did you hear that?).
Now, if your blackberry fell into the toilet, find another way to contact her. Use Facebook. Email her. Text her. Send her a freakin’ homing pigeon. Just contact her. Let me repeat: if you took her number or got set up with her, YOU MUST CONTACT HER. Is that clear?
Oh, and when you contact her, MAKE THE DATE. Don’t just leave it ambiguous. If you can’t agree upon a date because of future timings, then make a firm commitment to speak at a specific time to finalize plans. Don’t make tentative plans to bump into each other in the local supermarket or on the subway platform. Make plans to go out on a date, just you and her.
The only way to develop a relationship is to start off with a date. The only way to get the date is to ask for it.That’s not too difficult, is it?