By this time you should have already read my last blog on online dating profile photos and gotten busy making sure your photos are up to par. If you haven’t done that yet, stop reading and get to work. Your photos are the most important marketing tools in your soulmate searching kit. The first thing potential soulmates look at is your online dating profile photo, and any other photos of you they can find. Some base their decision to contact you solely on your photos.
Most internet daters will look at one more thing before making their final decision: the written portion of your online dating profile. Yes, it’s not all just about looks, even for guys. Ok, for some guys (and gals) it is, but I’d like to believe that the overwhelming majority of soulmate seekers combing the cyber dating sites in search of their “bashert” are looking for more than just a pretty face. They want to base their decision on who you are, your personality…the real you. Their only source for this information is what you’ve communicated in the words you’ve crafted and positioned next to your pretty face. The written portion of your profile is your chance to turn possible interest into definite pursuit.
There are two parts to a written profile: vital statistics and personal representation. Vital statistics include name, age, hometown, siblings…the facts of your life. There’s not much creatively that you can do with your vitals. Before you go any further, lying is not an option. Besides being morally and ethically wrong, lying about your vitals will comeback to haunt you in the least opportune moment. If you lie about your looks (ie height, weight) you will be “outed” the first time you meet that someone in person, and you will lose any chance of successfully continuing with that person. It won’t matter how intelligent, engaging, or funny you are (unless, for some reason, you decided to lie and say you were short and overweight, when you’re actually a part time swimsuit model). You’ll always wear that liar’s badge of shame. Lying about your age is also almost always a deal breaker. The only way to cover up a vital statistic that you’re not happy with is by simply not revealing it, when that is an option. Hiding information usually doesn’t work, because it either makes the other person think worst case scenario, or it just makes them doubt your ability to be honest and emotionally open in a relationship.
The second part of your written online dating profile is where you represent who you are to all those potential soulmates considering you. This is your opportunity to shine, dazzle, entrance, entice, and seduce. Remember, your goal is not just to attract just anyone. You want to attract a potential partner that shares your life goals and dreams. The more clear and open you are in expressing what those goals and dreams are, and most importantly, who YOU really are, the better chance you’ll have at meeting the “right one”.
How you craft your written representation of who you are depends on your personality, style, and writing skills. Some people can express humor and whit, some seriousness and introspection, and some their playfulness and romantic flavor. Some people can write in a flirtatious style without coming off as cheesy or sleazy. Some people stick exclusively to straightforward facts and statements. The main thing is to honestly express who you really are and what you’re looking for in a mate.
Here are a few guidelines that you should follow when writing your personal representation:
1. Before you actually write anything, formulate exactly the idea you want to convey. What message do you want to send your reader? Once you’ve done that, don’t confuse the reader with lots of irrelevant gibberish. Make sure you convey your message as clearly and concisely as possible within your chosen style.
2. If you choose to write with humor or sarcasm, make sure it’s clear to the reader that that’s what you’re doing. The worst is when you’re trying to be funny but your reader thinks you’re being serious.
3. Don’t reveal too much sensitive personal information. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about that stuff on a third or fourth date. No need to scare anyone away just yet.
4. Read over what you’ve written before publishing it. Check your grammar and spelling. Bad grammar and stupid spelling mistakes are a real turnoff for anyone with at least average intelligence.
Even if you follow my guidelines there’s one important point you need to realize: not everyone is a good writer. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has different talents. If yours happens to be writing, you have a tremendous advantage in the profile writing category. Use it. If you’re not a writer, don’t give up hope. You can still write a coherent and interesting profile if you really put your mind to it (not like you did in high school). Just keep it simple and to the point. If you try to be too fancy, funny, sophisticated, satirical, sardonic, sagacious, or sarcastic (or if you keep trying to use big words that basically reflect the same idea just to look cool) you will probably just succeed in motivating your reader to click on his mouse and move on to the next profile.
Don’t be ashamed to get help writing your online dating profile. You wouldn’t hesitate getting help to write your resume. Well, this is more important than a job, so get all the help you need.