Everyone would love to meet their partner naturally, face to face, in a normal social situation. At least that’s what every single I’ve spoken to says (hey, I said the same thing when I was single). Wouldn’t it be great to meet that someone in a Starbucks, or waiting in line at the supermarket?
Well, when you do get lucky enough to meet people at social events or just by chance, you usually are willing to ask them out without knowing too much about them. Sure, you need to make sure you’re not about to date a dangerous criminal, but beyond that what do you really know about the person at that first meeting? Do you ask them their age? What their relationship history is? Whether they want to have kids, and how many?
You usually decide whether to ask someone you’ve just met out on a date based on their appearance and whether you feel attracted to them or not. Simple. Then you date them and continue to learn more about them.
Why should blind dates or online dating be that much different? When someone offers to set you up on a date, just seeing their photo and getting their basic info isn’t usually enough for too many singles. You need to know every last detail about them before you agree to the date. You ask a million questions. The slightest hesitation in an answer can cause you to decline. You don’t want to take any chances.
This is even more pronounced in online dating. Do you really need all that information dating sites make users include in their profiles to go out on a date with someone who you think is cute? Do you need to see every inch of the person’s body in order to meet the person for coffee?
You’re so busy asking questions and researching to avoid the possibility of spending an hour with someone you might end up not being so into that you’re rarely, if ever, actually dating anymore. Instead of spending time with someone to find out if they’re right for you, you date and evaluate them in the privacy of your mind, and then decide they’re not worth your face time.
I’m not telling you to date anyone and everyone. But if it’s not a definite no, why not take a chance and meet the person? Magic only happens face to face.
This also applies to people you already known or have met but have never dated. If you think you might want to date this person but aren’t totally sure, don’t spend the next six months debating the pros and cons in your mind and with your buddies. Take a chance. If it doesn’t work then at least you know you tried your best and can put the matter to rest. But if it does…
Stop trying to figure everything out, and start dating.