It’s the 21st century and equality of the sexes reigns supreme in the US in just about everything. Well, almost everything. The “first move”, otherwise known as hitting on, remains trapped in the protocols of old, where men were men and women were … whatever. Has the time come to give single ladies permission to “make the first move” and “hit on” the man of their dreams?
There are two schools of thought regarding women making the first move. The anti-movers claim that if a woman chases a guy or makes herself too easily available, he will get turned off. The pro-movers say that women should make their move whenever they please.
Both of these positions have merit.
The anti-movers are right in that a women should never chase a man. When a guy is interested, he doesn’t want to be chased. By taking away his hunting license, you’re in a sense emasculating him. That strategy probably isn’t going to work too well for you. But making a move is not chasing. At least it shouldn’t be. If you make your move correctly, you’ll never be accused of chasing or even coming on strong.
Most woman equate making a move with aggressive behavior. They think they have to come over and say something outrageously witty or cutesy or maybe even blatantly sexual to grab a guy’s attention. But instead of dazzling the guy, they come across as aggressive, even desperate.
If a guy is interested it doesn’t really matter what your opening line is and if he’s not, it also doesn’t matter.
Remember that line from Jerry Maguire, “you had me at hello?” Well, hello is just about all you need to say to make your move on a guy. You can also say your name. That’s about it. You don’t need to say anything else. If you make your move with hello and your name, you’re basically saying, “here I am, if you’re interested, YOU make the move.” You’ve brought the horse to water. Now it’s his choice to drink or not. You’re in no way being aggressive, and certainly not chasing or desperate. You’re not really even making a move. You’re just giving him the opportunity to do so. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.
If you do give him the opportunity and he doesn’t act on it, move on. Don’t try to make him interested by doing a stand up routine or song and dance number for him. You tried, and should be proud of that. Now it’s time to confidently walk on by and on to the next one. But this is where many women unfortunately mess up. They continue to push themselves aggressively on a guy who has made his intentions clear. Luckily, you don’t have to make the same mistake.
Let the guy make the first move. If he doesn’t, give him the opportunity to by going over and saying hi. If he’s interested, he’ll take it from there.
Dating apps make making the first move without seeming aggressive really easy. Sending a guy a message to let him know you’re there and interested carries almost no risk. If he ignores your message…who cares? You’ve never even met the guy, so you can just delete the experience from your memory and move on free and clear.
You’ve really got nothing to lose by contacting a man on dating apps or dating sites…even Jewish ones.
So what are you waiting for? Get out there, ladies, and make the first move. Good luck!
What’s your view…should a woman make the first move or not? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.