To help our users get the most out of online dating, we decided to get advice from the experts: professional matchmakers and dating coaches. We asked them 8 questions that we hope will give you some guidance in preparing an awesome online profile and succeeding in finding love online.
Our expert today is matchmaker and dating coach Rebecca Cooper Traynor, the founder of Match Me Toronto.
Rebecca’s answers follow each question.
1. What have you learned about men since becoming a Matchmaker?
I meet some fabulously amazing men that are very successful, intelligent, handsome and charismatic. I have learned since being in this industry, that very successful men truly need the assistance of a service like ours. They are a hot commodity and find the process of meeting “a friend of a friend” or joining an online service to be overwhelming and undesirable. The fact that we meet and screen women before they meet them is why men want to meet hire us.
On a side note, regularly we catch men being untruthful about their height and age… this is something we have learned to accept, but make sure we catch them on it every time!
2. Why do you find women are choosing Matchmaking Services?
A matchmaker is kind of like having a best friend who knows a lot of single people. Women love that they can confide in us, ask us questions that would maybe be too embarrassing to ask a friend, and allow us to assist them with advice and tips throughout the process. Throughout the process, we find women truly build a unique friendship with us and need our support and encouragement. We love being able to help!
3. For the online daters out there, what would you say is important for them have in their profile?
I always say to THINK about what your match wants to learn about you. A profile should have key points of interest – Your professional drive, a few detailed interests, insight on your family values and what you are looking for in a partner. If something is REALLY important to you, whether it is your religious beliefs, health choice and so on, make a note to mention it in your profile. Did you know that often matchmaking services can also create and maintain a online profile for you? It may be a shocker, but regularly people are reaching out to a professional to create and maintain their online profile.
4. What do you think about a woman approaching a man if she is interested?
I definitely encourage women to approach men. Life is all about opportunities and people need to acknowledge it, and take action! You need to feel the fear and do it any way, take chances and really believe in yourself. Dating can truly be exciting and it’s best to push yourself to the limits and see what a strong person you are. I approached a man after a charity event one evening, and he is the man that I married two years later.
5. What do you find are some big mistakes men make when it comes to online dating?
Men are so particular about the age of a woman, it is crazy! I feel like men should be more opened to meeting women if they share interests with them and put less focus on the age of a person, it really is only a number.
6. What are some big mistakes women make on their online profiles?
I think women sometimes forget that men like sexy and the best way to show your inner sex appeal is to have a killer profile photo. Sexy doesn’t mean revealing your body parts, it means looking polished, up to date and a bit flirty. People should consider getting professional photos taken for their online dating site profile – two photos are absolutely necessary, a head shot and a body shot.
7. Would you mind sharing a story of your most memorable match?
Match Me’s first client ever was a man in his early 60’s, I signed him on only a few weeks after I launched our business. His first match was a wonderful woman whom he shared many compatibilities with, they met and truly hit it off from that moment on. This was in 2009, and since then we have stayed in contact fairly regularly, they have invited me into their lives, sing “Matchmaker Matchmaker make me a match” when I am around, share their love story with their friends and even invited me to their wedding in 2011. My husband and I were planning on our wedding in the Caribbean in February 2014, John caught wind of our upcoming nuptials and let us know he and Dolores were going to also be in the Caribbean around that time and wanted to travel the distance to watch their matchmaker get married. They did make it for our special day, and John said they couldn’t miss a day so special to us.
We have had a number of marriages facilitated from our matches, but John and Dolores’ holds a special place in my heart.
8. What’s one piece of advice you’d share with all those looking for love?
It’s important to really put some thought into who would be a good match for you. Being self aware is a tool when you are single and looking for someone to share your life with, you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Seeking someone who can be your partner and function as a team, but also someone who adds joy and love to your life, and someone who may have many differences to you but that are complementary. Finding love isn’t about luck, it’s about being open to opportunities and possibilities.
Thanks Rebecca for your super helpful insights and advice!
You can contact Rebecca here.
What do you think of Rebecca’s advice?
Please share your comments and questions below.