This post is by Danielle Pashko, owner of Pashko Wellness (That’s her in the photo!)
Men are very visual when it comes to dating. Unless you are in an environment where you get to know someone initially as a friend, you are being evaluated by an emotion he’s feeling at first glance. I know many sweet, funny, intelligent, interesting, incredible women that don’t have dates and they put themselves out there. There can be a few reasons why this is happening. Perhaps a woman is objectively very attractive- but for whatever reason her energy is totally stand offish, guarded, and unapproachable. (I’ve been accused of this one before and have worked on it).
I’ve also had men tell me they will flat out avoid women that seem high maintenance. To clarify- this can mean a beautiful women that shows up to a sports bar wearing a Chanel bag and Louboutin shoes. It’s fine during a date on a Saturday night, but guys want to know you can also hang and be down to earth. Another reason guys may be distant has to do with appearance. Whether it’s the extra weight, the laziness of not putting on makeup, or just wearing clothes that are not flattering, all of these issues can put the breaks on connecting with someone. Fortunately, there are many ways to make changes. With girlfriends it’s a touchy conversation to bring up, but I am always honest with my clients.
So what do men find physically attractive? I’m not a man so I can’t answer for certain, but can share the feedback from the men in my life:
1. A Pretty Face
What stands out to a man when he’s sitting across from you on a date is your face. This is why you want to have clear skin and look well rested. The way I keep my skin looking young is by avoiding sugar, eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as spending time in the steam room which helps with detoxification. Facials twice a month are great if you can afford them. I also use a product called Frownies on my face before bed to avoid fine lines as well as a moisturizing ointment that comes from Broccoli Sulforaphane. (Yes the vegetable)!
2. Confidence in Body Image
Men like women who are comfortable with their own bodies. If you feel insecure about your size it comes across. Exercise is crucial to this process, and for slimming down it’s all about consistent cardio. When working out, 45-60 minutes of walking, running, biking, Stairmaster, or yoga is ideal. Keep in mind that not all yoga is the same. For burning the most calories, take up practices such as Ashtanga, Bikram, or Vinyasa Yoga. Adding in resistance training will be beneficial. The key is to use light weights and doing a lot of reps. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, get yourself a trainer for an introductory workout.
It’s important to be extra carb conscious when working on keeping the weight off. Even if you are not eating fried foods or refined white sugar and cake, having too many grains (even the healthy ones) will be a detriment to your success. If you are a carboholic, make a commitment to cutting out all bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes for just 2 weeks. It may be a little difficult in the beginning, but once you drop a few pounds it will be well worth it!
Style includes the way you dress, your hair, makeup etc. Being stylish does not have to be expensive. Most men (except for Manhattan Metrosexuals) can’t tell the difference between Herve Leger and H&M. More important than designer labels is the way clothing fits. A dress that looks classy on a skinny flat chested woman can look slutty on someone voluptuous. If you have a date lined up, it’s not a bad idea to get a second opinion from someone you can trust.
When meeting a guy for the first time, clean straight hair or soft waves is best. It just looks more polished than tight curls- especially if your hair is a little frizzy. Additionally, don’t wear too much makeup. Men don’t like when it’s caked on and it dries out your skin and makes you look older. If you must, use a good moisturizer and eye cream under your makeup.
Looking your best isn’t always easy, but it’s well worth the effort to attract your Mr. Right.
>> If you found this post interesting, there’s a lot more super helpful advice in this awesome book, From I to I Do: How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Mr. Right [Available on Amazon]
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