If you’re a parent with children of marriageable age, you probably want them to find happiness in a healthy relationship that might hopefully lead to marriage (and grandkids). In some circles parents are downright obsessed with finding their kid a “shidduch” and terrified that they’ll hit their 30’s single.
So, here are 4 ways parents can help their children find the “right one”:
1. Teach by example
Committing to live with someone “for better or for worse, till death do us part” is scary as hell. For kids who see their parents unhappy in their marital relationship, it’s a fate to be avoided at all costs. When singles think about marriage, they can’t help but use their own parents’ relationship as a prime example (even if they’re doing so in their subconscious). So if you want your kids to view relationships and marriage in the most positive light, give them something positive to emulate. In other words, be the best marriage partner you can be, and the good vibes will flow.
2. Instill the “right” values
Make sure to teach your child (from an early age) not to judge people by what they do for a living or how thin or not thin they are. People aren’t born with the kind of social prejudices prevalent in today’s dating culture. They acquire them. As a parent you have the unique opportunity and responsibility to instill within your children the ability to view people for who they really are on the inside, instead of simply by how they look or what they do. Of course, you need to practice what you preach.
3. Don’t Pressure
You’re kids aren’t you. You can teach them and try to mold them into your vision of perfection, but at the end of the day they have their own mind and soul to lead them in their own direction. Not everyone is ready for marriage at the time you think they should be. If your kid isn’t, don’t pressure them to be. They’ll get there when the time is right.
4. Do Help
Just because I told you not to pressure doesn’t mean you can’t help. Some singles are either clueless when it comes to dating or are too lazy to do what it takes to find the right one. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally sending your single kid a link to an interesting article on dating or to an event which you’ve come across that seems cool. I said occasionally — that means once in a while! Your subtle show of interest will be appreciated…or at least not disdained (hey, there are always exceptions).