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301-If You Want a Second Date, Watch What You Say On the First Date

After services on Rosh Hashana a woman I was chatting with told me what happened on her last date, and I must admit that it shocked me. I’m referring to the stupidity of the guy she was on the date with, and it takes a lot to shock me because I’ve met a lot of clueless guys, but this guy’s…stupidity (I really tried to find a nicer word because stupid is kind of harsh and I don’t let my kids use it, but I just couldn’t find an equally accurate synonym to describe the actions of this pin head) just blew me away. Your wondering what this guy did, right?

Let me begin by telling you that this woman is attractive (and that’s a man’s opinion, so it counts!), smart, intelligent, and plain old charming. She met this guy at an event, he asked her out and she accepted. So far so good.

Now here’s where it gets tough for me to convey the extent of this guy’s stupidity, because to do that I would have to reveal information about the woman’s career that might give away her true identity — and I won’t do that. So I’ll have to be vague here, but I think the point will still be clear.

Right from the beginning of the date the guy started talking about stuff that the woman clearly did not want to hear or discuss. She had mentioned this to him when he first asked her out. She told him again on the date. But he continued bringing up the same topic. After a while she just couldn’t take it anymore and did what anyone with a trace of self respect what do: she left. Can you blame her?

What was this guy thinking? It’s ok to make a mistake…once. But to repeat the same mistake multiple times? That’s just…stupid.

Now, you might counter that he knew exactly what he was doing and was in fact trying to sabotage the date because he wasn’t really interested. That might work if it was a blind date, but since this guy asked her out, saying he wasn’t interested just doesn’t make any sense.

Ok, so what can we learn from this story?

1. He asked her out!
To be fair I’ve got to give this guy some credit. He asked the girl out on a date. He didn’t try to hang out with her or casually meet up with a group of friends. He asked her out on a date. Good work.

2. What NOT to say on a first date.
The answer to this should be pretty intuitive. Just play it safe and steer away from saying anything that has even the remote chance of insulting, embarrassing or pissing off your date. Use your best judgement. If you’re not sure, don’t say it. You might want to steer clear of politics, at least on the first date.

3. What TO say on a first date.
Anything not included in #2. Relax and be your charming self. If you get nervous on first dates and can’t think of anything normal to say, prepare before the date by jotting down or making mental notes of some ideas or topics to discuss. Nothing wrong with being prepared.

If you’ve made the effort to get that first date, don’t mess it up by saying stupid, insulting or inappropriate stuff.

And for those of you still searching for that first date, stay tuned for the new site I’ll be launching very soon that will hopefully change the way you meet potential dates in a big way.

If you need personal dating and relationship advice, you've come to the right place. To get answers to your specific questions or scenarios, click here.

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