It should be clear from my writing that I’m extremely pro marriage. But I’m also very pro people making their own decisions in life. And there are plenty of men and women who are happy to remain single, and have no desire to get married either now or in the foreseeable future.
While I’m totally prepared and willing to sell them on the benefits of marriage and raising a family, I’m also ready to keep my mouth shut when talking to someone who is clearly not interested in the joys of holy matrimony (writing about it doesn’t count, because you can choose to read or ignore).
So if you’ve decided to stay single, for the time being or forever, you won’t get any protest from my corner…on one condition: Don’t date someone who IS interested in marriage.
This warning is applicable to men and women, although the guilt seems to be skewed in the male direction. For an example of this, check out this post, where I quote a story from bestselling author and Savvy Auntie Melanie Notkin which leaves no room for interpretation.
If you meet someone who makes it clear that he or she has marriage as their eventual objective (sooner than later) and you don’t feel the same way, just “go on now go, walk out the door, don’t turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome anymore” (from the lyrics of the ’70s hit I Will Survive, a big bar-mitzvah party hit in my day).
I don’t care how attractive they are or how much you’d just love to “get to know” them in a big way. If they are serious about marriage and you aren’t, you have no right to date them.
But you just want to hang out with them for fun, right? Well, that might be your plan, but the other person doesn’t know that. They’ve got feelings and emotions that are sure to get a good thrashing when you break the good news to them after luring them into your fun little relationship game. It’s criminal, unless you fully disclose at the start.
You want to stay single? Have a blast and live it up, but don’t you dare date someone who’s looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage. Think about the person you’ll be hurting if you do.
Have you been in the situation where you were dating someone who turned out not to be interested in marrying? Please share, to help others avoid the pain.