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How to Stop Men from Dating (Much) Younger Women

Some women in their mid 30’s and above complain that men in their age bracket only want to date women much younger than them. How much is “much younger”? That depends on how old the man is. For men in their early 30’s it might be five years. For men in their forties it might be ten.

The complaint is totally valid. There are plenty of women in their late 30’s and early 40’s who can’t get a date with a man less than 50 because all the 40’s men are searching for women in their early to mid 30’s. They’ll even “settle” for a 28 or 29 yr. old! I recently met with a woman who just turned 31 who was scared that she wouldn’t be able to date guys in their mid 30’s because she was too old. Unfortunately, she’s not an exception.

To say that this dating ageism applies to all men is wrong. But once you break the 35 barrier it get a lot more prevalent. The reasons for this ageism are well know:

1. Younger women have more childbearing potential.
2. Younger women are less demanding and have less expectations.
3. Younger women are less jaded by the dating process.

We all know that these are obviously gross generalizations indiscriminately applied to a whole segment of the population. It’s wrong, no question about it. But is there a way to stop this age discrimination and compel men to date women closer to their own age (or older)?

The author of an article in The Atlantic entitled What If Men Stopped Chasing Much-Younger Women? attempts to convince men to date their age like so,

I’m not proposing that we shame every age-disparate couple. I am proposing that we challenge heterosexual middle-aged men to direct their sexual and romantic energies to their female peers. Everyone—older men, younger men, older women, younger women—will reap the paradigm-shifting benefits.

Certain rabbis have suggested that men date women one or two years older than them, although the men he’s advising are basically all in their very early 20’s.

Although I agree with the premise that men should not disqualify women solely based on age, I disagree with the idea of “challenging” or forcing them to do so. It just doesn’t work. You can’t force a man (or anyone) to date someone he doesn’t want to, even if his reasons are messed up. You can’t expect a man to “take one for the team” and date an older woman if he doesn’t want to. So challenging, convincing, or legislating men to mend their ways is just a big waste of time. Complaining won’t help change the situation either.

So how do women get men their own age to date them? By being the best they can be. Stop complaining and start attracting men with your charm, intelligence, positivity, energy, and yes, appearance. And make sure not to reject good prospects for the wrong reasons. The competition is tough, but I’ve seen plenty of “older” women get their man. You can too.

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3 replies
  1. Not your average guy
    Not your average guy says:

    You mean they can’t get a date with high-value men. Those men don’t commit to anyone because all women want them.
    Women don’t get dates because their standards don’t meet their market value.
    A 38 year old woman expecting to meet Ryan Gosling online is delusional.
    It’s not men’s preference that are the problem, it’s women’s. Plenty of average height/looks/income guys are looking for a relationship, but don’t make the cut no matter how low they lower their own standards of attraction.
    However, those guys more often them not, do meet women in real life eventually and settle down-usually younger. Not so much for post-wall women who price themselves right out of the market.
    If women want men in their age range, they’d better lock one down before 30 and NOT divorce. That’s pretty much all there is online, and it sad.

  2. nunya
    nunya says:

    Met a man two years ago whom I hoped would be the One. I was 53 and he was 4 years older. At first he thought I was 35. I never lied ablut my age. I told the truth about everything about my life. Because I was married before and have two grandchildren, he told me he didnt consider me dating or marriage worthy…after nearly a year of displaying “courtship behavior.” He told me I was the nicest person he ever met but that he “didn’t want to marry a grandmother.” Made me feel like I was damaged goods! so i told him off. Snd six months later he finds himself a mail order bride more than half his age!He’ll be 60 this year and she is in her early 20s. I’m heartbroken and discouraged but I should’ve realized I didn’t have a chance with that guy. Thing is if most men my age range want 20 somethings where does that leave me? The guy used to repeatedly tell me what a “great personality” I have but apparently that’s not good enough. Unless something extraordinary happens, I realize I will wind up like so many older women….alone and pretending I’m not lonely and it doesnt bother me to be considered undesirable and unworthy of love…but what else can you do? Unless you want to play the harlot or become a lez hanging around exclusively with female “friends” then the dating odds are against you.

  3. treifalicious
    treifalicious says:

    You can also allow women to date men based on their real desires and less for things like financial security. Then older men will have less appeal to them and older men will be forced to date women their age.


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