Couple in a restaurant

Should You Take a Woman to Dinner on a First Date?

You’ve all heard about Pavlov’s famous experiment, where he associated a dog’s eating time with a ring of a bell. After repeating this association long enough, whenever the dog would hear the bell ring he would get hungry and run for food. Well, human beings are affected by association in much the same way.

We associate events with positive or negative feelings. For example, if you have particular relaxing memories related to to a beach vacation you once took, every time you think of that vacation or scene you might experience those same feelings of relaxation, even if your sitting in your freezing cold office during a snow storm. That’s the power of positive association.

This same theory of association can be applied to dating. Assuming that you want to get a second date with the woman you’re on a date with, it is to your enormous benefit to create a positive association for the woman on the first date. It’s been proven that a nice meal puts people in a good mood and creates positive associations. That’s why business meeting often take place over a meal and why organizations run fundraising dinners.

If you take a woman out to a nice meal in a nice restaurant with ambiance (No, Coffee Bean or Kosher Delight do NOT qualify– sorry) and don’t make any stupid or inappropriate comments or gestures, there’s a really good chance that she will feel good about her experience and associate you with that positive feeling.

In addition to her happily satiated appetite, she will appreciate the fact that you made the effort to shell out your hard earned cash to treat her like the princess she thinks she is and view you in a totally different, and positive, light than if you bought her a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

And if you really want to be a hero, when you call to ask her out, ask her what type of food she likes and then suggest a restaurant that serves that food. (Do NOT ask her to pick out a restaurant because you’re to busy or lazy. That’s your job.) Now she’ll also associate you with someone who is sensitive and caring.

It’s really quite simple. If you want to greatly increase your chances of scoring a second date with a woman you like, treat her to a nice dinner with a splash of ambiance, be a mensch, and plant this equation inside her head: Positive = YOU.

Good Luck!


If you need personal dating and relationship advice, you've come to the right place. To get answers to your specific questions or scenarios, click here.

Buy my book on Amazon!

dating advice book
1 reply

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] doesn’t have to be involved — although including something to eat is always a classy move in my book. Making the effort — planning something he thinks I might […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *