I recently wrote a post called, “Why don’t you ask her out already?” in which I told men that if they meet a woman they like and she takes the time to engage them in conversation, they should ask her out and feel confident that in most cases she’ll say yes. Well, one of my readers responded to this advice saying that just because a woman is friendly to a guy and engages him in nice conversation doesn’t mean she’s interested in going out with him. Fair enough. I published her response, so you can check it out in full.
She’s right, the woman might not be interested in going out, but you know what? It still doesn’t hurt to politely ask. What’s the worst that can happen? Even if she says no, if you ask like a gentleman she’ll be flattered and maybe recommend you to her friends. I repeat, ask nicely, politely, respectfully and don’t get angry or nasty if she says no. Take it like a man and move along with an, “it was great meeting you, and I’m sure will bump into each other at some point” (or something pleasant and non-stalking like that).
The real target of my “Why don’t you ask her out already?” post were the men who actually take a woman’s contact info and don’t ever bother to contact her. Guys, I know it’s not because you’re too busy…you could find the time to phone, email, text, IM, poke, or even mail her a postcard. So let’s be honest…the real reason you’re not contacting her is that you’re really not that interested.
So why take her number in the first place? Maybe you thought you’d make her feel bad if you didn’t? Well, she definitely feels bad now that you didn’t call. Maybe you actually were interested when you took the number but after hyper analyzing her in your mind or with your close adviser dudes you decided that she just wasn’t a 10? Well, neither are you, so maybe you should give her shot…remember, you were interested in her when you asked her.
Bottom line: if you’re man enough to ask her for her number, be man enough to use it in a timely fashion. You’ll come out looking like a “mentch”, and you might even find love.
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