In What Went Wrong This Weekend? Men’s Edition I listed a few reasons why men who spent the weekend with hundreds of singles didn’t end up with even one date out of it. Ladies, now it’s your turn.
For the record, the purpose of these “what went wrong” posts is in no way to knock the Labor Day Weekend events or the fact that you went to them. I attended more than my share of them and they were always loads of fun. That’s why I’m all in favor of you going to them, for whatever reason…whether it’s just to hang out and party with friends or to meet someone special, or both.
The reason for these posts is to address some of the reasons why, despite your stated intention of meeting someone to start a relationship with, you left in the same condition you arrived in. So don’t give up hope and get all depressed! Use what I’m telling you here to modify your strategy and improve your effectiveness in your search for the right one.
Ladies, here are some possible reasons why you didn’t get to go out on any dates this week, after spending Labor Day weekend at a venue with hundreds of single men:
1. You spent the entire weekend glued to your girlfriends.
Believe it or not, a posse of cool and attractive gals can be a pretty intimidating scene for many guys. Winning over one woman is hard enough. Doing it while dealing with her bodyguards is often not worth the effort. If you want a guy to walk over and talk to you, try to spend some time away from your wingyentas.
2. Hanging On
You’re still hoping that your friend the cardiologist will open his eyes and realize that you’re more than just a great person to talk to about the girls he’s dating. You’ve got time to wait. Sure.
You met some nice guys, but you just don’t feel that they’ll ever make enough money to put 5 kids through Yeshiva and summer camp (and pesach in Florida, of course). So you’ll keep looking until you either find the guy or are too old to have more than one kid (if any). Makes sense, right?
Yes, there’s a flip side to this. Married life with kids is super expensive, especially if you’re Orthodox, and it is a reasonable requirement to want a man who will at the very least share that huge burden with you. So you need to find a balance, somewhere between welfare and magnate, that makes sense in these challenging financial times. I said balance.
The guys asking you out are nice, but they just don’t have that “zing” that gets you all nervous and excited each time you see their tall dark and handsome appearance (unshaved, of course). Well, let me fast forward a few years for you. You’ve got a screaming baby who just spit up all over your living room couch, you’re severely sleep deprived from getting up every couple of hours throughout the night to care for your little angel, you’re at your breaking point and just need HELP and some sensitivity and caring. Who do you think is going to be the man of the hour…Macho Stud or Nice Guy? Talk to your married friends before you answer.
5. You’ve given up.
You’ve been dating for so many years, you’re just sick of it already. You don’t care anymore, and it shows. You spout bitterness. You display more baggage than the Samsonite showroom window. You stopped working out in any form years ago. You’ve decided that the right guy will like you for who you are, no matter how you act or look. If you’re looking to completely turn off men, you’re on the fast track.
Please don’t give up. You can meet a wonderful man who will love you and be a great husband. Just stay focused, keep an open mind, be the best person you can be, and give the guy a chance. Even if he doesn’t exactly meet all of your lofty expectations. You’re not perfect either, right?