One of the questions I’m asked most often, by both men and women, is: Where can I find eligible single men or women? They assume that someone who dares call himself a “dating coach” should know of secret, “off market”, locations hidden from the average single, where the beautiful and successful come to mingle and match. If they could just gain entrance to that fantasy island utopia of love at first sight, fireworks studded, chemistry filled rendezvous, they would finally find the “right one”. Do I have an address, even a clue, something, anything?? Please?
As far as I know, there is no cupid Garden of Eden where meeting your soulmate is guaranteed. Honestly, I don’t know where the singles events are. I did when I was single. How did I get that classified information? I searched for it. I used Google and Facebook. I spoke to friends. I networked. Yes, it’s that simple. All the information about singles events of all types is out there in the open for you to see and act upon. The more research you do and the more singles you network with, the better informed you’ll be about which events are appropriate for you and which are a waste of your time and money.
Now let me be brutally honest and give you the real answer to your question of, “Where can I find eligible single men or women?” Single men and women are everywhere, particularly in the NYC area (where most of you reading this are). The streets of Manhattan are packed with singles. They’re everywhere! You’re problem is not where to find them, but how to attract them.
You see you’re real question is not where to find singles, but where to find singles who are interested in dating you. You already go to plenty of singles events, but the girls or guys you’re interested in don’t feel the same about you. So there must be something wrong with them, right? They’re not serious about getting into a relationship, because if they were, they would be all over you. I mean, seriously, who could pass up a prize like YOU?
What about all the other eligible singles in the room who might actually be interested in giving you the time of day? Oh, you’re not interested in them. I mean, please, you’re allowed to maintain some standard of quality control, right? You didn’t wait this long to just settle for someone who’s less than perfect. So you scan the room, determine that there’s just no one there worth pursuing, and head back to the self help section at Barnes and Nobles to micro analyze the situation with your gal pals, followed by a Sex and the City marathon session.
No, the problem is not a lack of quality singles. The problem is that you haven’t come to terms with your reality, and you’re still chasing after guys or girls who are just not into you and never will be. Even if you are able to “catch” them you soon discover that they weren’t really right for you after all. You’re pursuing women much too young for you or guys who aren’t ready to commit to anything more than a Hampton’s summer share (If they were really interested in having a serious relationship with you, why would they want to party in the Hamptons so badly??).
Singles are everywhere. When you get real about who you really are and who you really need to be happy with, you’ll find the “right one” sooner than you can imagine. You might have even met him or her already.