A couple of people recently reached out to me to ask if I know anyone to match them up with. I’d be happy to. So I got on Facebook and started searching through my friend list. There were some faces that I hadn’t seen or spoken to in ages and some that I didn’t even recognize (I usually accept friend requests from anyone who doesn’t seem like a spammer). I clicked on their “about” link to find out a bit more about them, particularly their relationship status. Surprisingly, a significant number of them didn’t have their relationship status completed. There was no status!
You might not be as surprised as I was. For some reason that I don’t really get, many people are reluctant to indicate whether they are single, engaged, married, or in a relationship. I totally get the reluctance of classifying yourself as “in a relationship” (hey, I’m a guy). Waiting until you can say “engaged” is much safer (although judging by the number of broken engagements I’m not so sure). For the most part most married folks do indicate their status as “married” and even usually tell you to whom. Most, but not all.
Why wouldn’t someone want to let people know that they are single, or married? There’s no shame in either status. If you’re married the only reason I can think of that you wouldn’t want to indicate that in your status is that you’re up to no good. Shame on you. Or maybe you just think it’s obvious to all who know you and there’s no need to take the half second to choose the “married” option on the drop-down menu? Fair enough.
But if you’re single and you hide that fact you are potentially missing out on opportunities to meet good matches. When I look at your profile with the intention of introducing you to a super attractive woman or handsome man and I don’t see “single” as your status I’ll usually bounce and move to the next profile. Sometimes I’ll look at your photos to see if there are any wedding gowns, wedding photos, family portraits, or toddlers there to help prove your case one way or another. Sometimes I’ll be able to make an educated guess as to your status. More often I won’t. The fact that you’re holding a child who may or may not be your own makes this even more confusing.
Why not indicate that you’re single, if you are? It might really help your chances of meeting the “right one”. Here’s some proof: I met my wife on Facebook, and I would not have contacted her if she hadn’t listed her status as single. There you go.
You’re single. So what? There’s nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. Now, if you don’t want to meet someone who might turn out to be your next relationship partner and possibly spouse, then by all means keep your status hidden and hide yourself from potential dates or matchmakers. That’s your right. But if you DO want to meet someone, you can make it a heck of a lot easier on everyone if you just click “single”.