Women reject men for a variety of reasons which men, for the most part, just don’t understand. So men end up continuing on the same path that lead them to rejection and wonder why the same thing keeps happening to them. Why to women keep rejecting them?
So guys, here are 5 reasons why women reject men (and they’re all pretty valid).
1. Career Ambition
We all know that there are women out there who will only date men of a certain profession or net income. If you don’t fit their requirements, they won’t date you period. It’s not fair, but it’s their right, so you need to come to terms with that and adjust your target sights appropriately.
But let’s leave those women out for now. The majority of women do not have specific professional or financial requirements that need to be matched by the men they agree to date. Yes, they want a man who can make a living, but in many cases women are already making pretty hefty salaries so they’re less concerned with the final W-2 number.
What they do want is a man who shows stability and ambition in whatever he chooses to do. That means if you have a stable career path with room to grow, and you’re motivated to do so, you’ve probably succeeded in satisfying the requirement.
Some men are getting rejected because they cannot show a woman that they have a stable economic future. We’re not referring to someone who is currently unemployed as a result of the harsh economic cycle. Women understand that jobs come and go, and that a capable man will eventually be able to get another. It’s the men who seem to never have had a stable job or career and who don’t seem to be trying to improve their situation that makes women feel uneasy and unreceptive. Even men who are striving to build a business on their own can fall into this category if they’ve been doing it for too long without financial reward.
Guys, you could be the handsomest and smartest fellow in town but if you can’t show a woman that you have financial stability or the concrete potential for that in the very near future, your chances of dating and relationship success are substantially below the norm.
Solution: either get a real job or get involved in a real business that has potential to grow in the near future. Do it now, ASAP. You will drastically improve your dating prospects.
If you’ve acquired a reputation for dating women seriously and then breaking up with them, women will be wary to date you and subject themselves to the same punishment. Everyone has relationships in their past that didn’t work out. But if you’ve done it enough times it isn’t unreasonable to assume that you’ve got some commitment related issues that need to be worked out before you can actually see a relationship through to commitment and marriage.
There are two steps you need to take to solve this dilema and clear your good name:
A. Work through your issue, preferably with the help of a therapist, mentor or coach. Maybe you can even work it out on your own. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, as long as you make sure not to get involved in another relationship until you do.
B. Once you’ve “cured” yourself, be honest with the woman you want to get involved with about your past and the work you’ve done to overcome your problem. Tell her that you know you’ve made mistakes before but now you’ve a new man who understands how to commit and is ready to do so. If you show you’re sincere and honest, the odds of her accepting you are good.
3. You’re abusive, insensitive, or just a big jerk.
This doesn’t require commentary. Grow up, be a man, and learn how to treat a woman. Don’t believe that crap about women not wanting to date nice guys. The kind of woman who you want as a wife will only date nice guys. Just remember, nice doesn’t equal wimpy. It means being caring, sensitive, attentive, and most of all giving.
4. You’re life goals are incompatible with her’s.
You need to share a common vision of how you want to lead your lives and raise a family. This includes religion, but not necessary politics.
5. She just doesn’t connect with your personality, or is not the least bit attracted to you.
Hey, it happens to the best of us. Not everyone is going to like you. Get used to it. Accept it, and move on.
Why women shouldn’t reject men.
Now that I’ve told you why women reject men, it’s only fair that I balance it out with some reasons why they should.
There are certain things that women shouldn’t reject a guy over, because while those things might seem important in the dating stage they either aren’t or can be modified in a marriage.
Some might say that women should always give guys a chance and refrain from rejecting them until they are 110% positive that the guy isn’t the right one for them. While there is definitely merit in giving chances and being sure before acting, there are also scenarios where it’s pretty clear that a guy deserves getting that rejection slip.
There are certain items on your I Do List that are “must haves” and dealbreakers, which you shouldn’t compromise on. Also, going out on too many bad dates will drain you of your positive energy, which is so vital to dating success.
But some ladies go a bit overboard in the rejection department and write off potential matches for reasons that could be seen as shortsighted and irrelevant to a happy relationship. Remember, your goal is to be in a committed, happy relationship that will lead to marriage.
So here are some things that women should NOT reject a guy over.
1. His Clothing
On two separate occasions women I tried to set up rejected the men I suggested because they didn’t like the way they dressed. They felt the men weren’t “sharp” or cool enough for them because, admittedly, they were clueless in the clothing department. I told these women that I thought they were making a big mistake by rejecting these men who were both highly intelligent and successful professionals and really nice guys.
I guess living in big cities filled with metro-sexual, GQ reading men on the cutting edge of fashion trends can distort the reality: lots of great men are ignorant when it comes to style. They either don’t know or don’t care, so they continue to dress like college frat boys or revenge of the nerds extras. I can totally see how this can be a turn off to women who put so much effort into looking their best. But here’s the reason why it shouldn’t matter: most men will gladly upgrade their wardrobe for the right woman.
Most men would love for a woman to take them shopping and help them pick out clothes. In fact, they probably wouldn’t mind if you went shopping on your own and just brought them back stuff to wear. It’s that simple. In most areas you need to assume that a person will not change and you must accept them as they are. Clothing style for men is not one of them. Once you’re in a relationship you can style your man. So don’t reject a guy just because he can’t figure out what to wear!
2. His Home Furnishing
This is pretty similar to the clothing item. Most guys do not have the sense of style necessary to furnish an apartment or home that doesn’t look like a college dorm room or an Austin Powers bachelor pad. That’s where you come in, if you end up living in the same house (ie married). Keep that in mind, and look past the design design disaster to see the real man.
3. His Profession
Making a living and supporting a family is important. Being able to maintain an acceptable, and realistic, standard of living is too. But how a man accomplishes that feat is not important. Don’t judge a man by how he makes his living. Your goal should be to find a man who will be a loving and caring husband and father. The letters after his name should be irrelevant to your decision. Financial fortunes go up and down. Integrity, respect, caring and sensitivity remain forever.
4. His Social “Coolness”
Some men aren’t the greatest when it comes to socializing. I’m not referring to a man who is socially awkward in an uncomfortable or creepy way. I’m just talking about a guy who isn’t the social butterfly you think you need. If you marry him you’ll have to be the social director and lead the way in that department. Big deal. Are you looking for a PR pro or a loving partner?
5. His Lack of Verbal Expressions of Affection
There was a great article in the Wall Street Journal that talks about how some men show their love and affection in their actions instead of in their words. I know you want your man to serenade you with verbal expressions of his undying affection, but would you settle for a guy who washes the dishes, takes out the garbage and buys you flowers on a regular basis? How about a guy who wakes up early on weekends to take care of the kids so you can sleep in? Actions speak louder than words. Go for the doer over the talker every time.
Women reject men for a wide variety of reasons. Some of those reasons are valid and men should take them to heart and use them as guidance to improve themselves. Some of the reasons for rejection don’t make a lot of sense, at least for women who are looking for a life partner and not just a short term boyfriend. So before you reject a man, make sure you’ve thought through your reasoning — and then read this article again.